Trying to get the big picture

Took yesterday off like I planned, which probably wasn't a good idea, because it disrupted my flow for the whole day. I felt at loose ends and unproductive regarding all my other work also.

Banged away at Ch. 3 today. About an hour and a half.

But what's really going on with me is stewing over big picture problems--like what is the essential plot and problem of this book. I feel like I'm on the verge of understanding about the book in a very different way. Different organizational terms. If I could just focus long enough to figure it out. And I think maybe I'm intimidated because I can see how disruptive that's going to be--all the revision it will necessitate.

It's difficult to explain--especially since I can't seem to focus on it--but it has to do with plot. What happens. I think that as I work I move back and forth between different areas of focus--plot, character, theme, setting, language. One or the other of those presents itself as the unresolved technical problem most needing attention before I can proceed. And right now it's plot. I'm imagining a thick layer that I'm going to add. I'm imagining a possible ending. And I'm becoming more conscious of the fact that that has implications for what should be happening in the earlier chapters. I need to prepare the ground for that ending. The chapters really become ABOUT something that they haven't been about so far.

Ugh. Tired and doubtful. This has been a tough week. I'm going to spend the weekend trying to come to a better understanding.