I just finished the closest thing ever for me to a full working day--about 6.5 hours evenly divided between before and after lunch. As a consequence, I'm ahead of the schedule I predicted on Friday for work on this chapter, having crammed about 3 customary days of work into this one. I'm proud of mysel for that and for powering myself through the few times this morning when I felt stalled and unsure of what I was doing and on the verge of giving up for the day to read political junkie websites all day.
I don't have any sense of whether or not I successfully dealt with all the problems in this chapter. I'm in the "no perspective" zone right now, which I think roughly correlates to how deeply I get into the creative zone. I need a reader to help me get some perspective, and my wife is falling further and further behind.
I do know that the chapter isn't any shorter. Despite cutting out about 3 pages for my scrap pile, the resulting chapter is 4 pages longer than when I started on it last week.
I guess the smart thing is to keep plowing ahead to the next chapter and to not feel too bad if I later discover that I need to come back and work on this (or others) since I've been saving time off my schedule anyway.
We'll see how I feel tomorrow.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
The Emperor's Children by Claire Messud
I've had this around since it first came out about a year and a half ago. At the time, dipping into the first chapter, I wasn't grabbed by it and put it away. This time, I was drawn to it like a potboiler, which goes to show how much mood and mindset of the reader has to do with things. Books have to find readers at the right time.
I picked it up again because she is married to James Wood, who as I say in earlier posts, I've been reading very carefully lately--both his most recent book and an older one and all the older essays in magazines and papers that I can find. (I have a complete dusty collection of unread New Yorkers from the last several years that I have trouble keeping up with.) Naturally, I wanted to read her book by the standards of his, a perverse and unfair but inevitable way to go about things.
I'm habituated to my own standards, though, and for four days I built up a sleep deficit getting through this book without thinking about her husband's at all. In the end, I have to say I think the book failed, but it was a kind of failure I don't mind at all. I enjoy it nevertheless. And think about it the next day, missing the characters. Expecting much more than that, I know, is a pretty high bar.
For one thing, there are places where I'm suddenly brought to the surface to become aware of myself and of the writer and the seams in the work. The most disappointing place was in the payoff scene where we witness along with a couple key characters the events of 9/11. For some reason the writing right there goes very flabby. It's like having a spell broken.
I can speculate why, but I wouldn't argue this point without having a dialogue with the author, but I have a feeling that she pulled her punches there because of a reluctance to be sentimental or emotional about obviously emotional topics. Such a reluctance would surprise me given that that attitude--a critique of ironic distance--is one of the themes of the book.
I was bothered by some loose ends. Did Seeley intend to publish the essay? (Was he going to betray his wife?) I never got clear on his perspective--lots of people are suspicious of him, but the suspicions are never confirmed or denied, so I don't understand if he's as big a butthole as they want to think he is. The story raises the question of his motivation for marrying Marina and if he has some twisted attraction to Murray, but it never satisfies that question. The mauling of Julius is gross--potentially the kind of "supernova" that Richard Ford talks about, but it has no consequence for theme, character or plot, so it ends up feeling like mere spectacle.
Well, this isn't a critique with a strong commitment to it. I'd have to read the book carefully again to talk clearly why it didn't work for me, and this blog doesn't have the sponsorship to support a second reading. Despite my beating up on it a little here, I enjoyed a ton of other qualities in it, including the momentum of the tale the suspense, and the exploration of the "emperor has no clothes" story. I encourage people to read it.
I picked it up again because she is married to James Wood, who as I say in earlier posts, I've been reading very carefully lately--both his most recent book and an older one and all the older essays in magazines and papers that I can find. (I have a complete dusty collection of unread New Yorkers from the last several years that I have trouble keeping up with.) Naturally, I wanted to read her book by the standards of his, a perverse and unfair but inevitable way to go about things.
I'm habituated to my own standards, though, and for four days I built up a sleep deficit getting through this book without thinking about her husband's at all. In the end, I have to say I think the book failed, but it was a kind of failure I don't mind at all. I enjoy it nevertheless. And think about it the next day, missing the characters. Expecting much more than that, I know, is a pretty high bar.
For one thing, there are places where I'm suddenly brought to the surface to become aware of myself and of the writer and the seams in the work. The most disappointing place was in the payoff scene where we witness along with a couple key characters the events of 9/11. For some reason the writing right there goes very flabby. It's like having a spell broken.
I can speculate why, but I wouldn't argue this point without having a dialogue with the author, but I have a feeling that she pulled her punches there because of a reluctance to be sentimental or emotional about obviously emotional topics. Such a reluctance would surprise me given that that attitude--a critique of ironic distance--is one of the themes of the book.
I was bothered by some loose ends. Did Seeley intend to publish the essay? (Was he going to betray his wife?) I never got clear on his perspective--lots of people are suspicious of him, but the suspicions are never confirmed or denied, so I don't understand if he's as big a butthole as they want to think he is. The story raises the question of his motivation for marrying Marina and if he has some twisted attraction to Murray, but it never satisfies that question. The mauling of Julius is gross--potentially the kind of "supernova" that Richard Ford talks about, but it has no consequence for theme, character or plot, so it ends up feeling like mere spectacle.
Well, this isn't a critique with a strong commitment to it. I'd have to read the book carefully again to talk clearly why it didn't work for me, and this blog doesn't have the sponsorship to support a second reading. Despite my beating up on it a little here, I enjoyed a ton of other qualities in it, including the momentum of the tale the suspense, and the exploration of the "emperor has no clothes" story. I encourage people to read it.
Two steps back
Worked on chapters 4, 5 and 6 today. Once I started reading through Chapter 6 yesterday, the problems in it seemed pretty severe and thinking them through sent me back to try again on scenes in previous chapters.
In particular, I've tried 2 different endings of Chapter 5 a couple times each. One ending is more dramatic but harder to pull off convincingly, so I keep chickening out and going for the weaker ending. (Essentially, I'm afraid to bring too much grief to my character too quickly. It seems like more than he can bear. And if he can't bear it, the pressure will build up before I can get him to the end of the story.) But then when I got into Chapter 6 I persuaded myself that I needed that more dramatic development to have happened, so I went back again and tried to make it work.
Chapter 6 has been my biggest pain the butt since I first started drafting it almost 18 months ago. It was first time that my writing schedule went off the rails and I ended up spending about twice as long on it, writing about 3 times as much as necessary. There's a lot of good material in it, and I've often thought that it would be good starter dough for a different story or book project. But so much of it doesn't fit with this book.
I think this is a function of it being in the voice of a secondary character. I have a few chapters, this one included, where I shift to another character's point of view. That requires getting in touch more with their motivation, which requires thinking about their backstory and so on. The hard part is figuring out how much of the character sketch work is needed in the draft in order to carry the story along convincingly. It's a tough balancing act when you switch to another character's POV like this.
That and other problems have me slowing way down as I come through the chapter again. This chapter probably more than any other needs actual rewriting--not just digging deeper and developing the potential in the episodes--but rethinking what the episodes are for in the story line and writing them over again.
So, I've got a lot more work to do on this than I wish I had. Friday now. I better plan on it taking all of next week. Similar to what I was thinking last week about Chapter 5, which I "finished" on Tuesday but found myself needing to go back and fuss with this morning.
In particular, I've tried 2 different endings of Chapter 5 a couple times each. One ending is more dramatic but harder to pull off convincingly, so I keep chickening out and going for the weaker ending. (Essentially, I'm afraid to bring too much grief to my character too quickly. It seems like more than he can bear. And if he can't bear it, the pressure will build up before I can get him to the end of the story.) But then when I got into Chapter 6 I persuaded myself that I needed that more dramatic development to have happened, so I went back again and tried to make it work.
Chapter 6 has been my biggest pain the butt since I first started drafting it almost 18 months ago. It was first time that my writing schedule went off the rails and I ended up spending about twice as long on it, writing about 3 times as much as necessary. There's a lot of good material in it, and I've often thought that it would be good starter dough for a different story or book project. But so much of it doesn't fit with this book.
I think this is a function of it being in the voice of a secondary character. I have a few chapters, this one included, where I shift to another character's point of view. That requires getting in touch more with their motivation, which requires thinking about their backstory and so on. The hard part is figuring out how much of the character sketch work is needed in the draft in order to carry the story along convincingly. It's a tough balancing act when you switch to another character's POV like this.
That and other problems have me slowing way down as I come through the chapter again. This chapter probably more than any other needs actual rewriting--not just digging deeper and developing the potential in the episodes--but rethinking what the episodes are for in the story line and writing them over again.
So, I've got a lot more work to do on this than I wish I had. Friday now. I better plan on it taking all of next week. Similar to what I was thinking last week about Chapter 5, which I "finished" on Tuesday but found myself needing to go back and fuss with this morning.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Internet research
I've been working hard yesterday and today on Chapter 5 like I had planned. I've had some noisy distractions because of work on the house, but I've made do. A couple more hours should get me through the work I anticipated on this chapter, but we'll see. I don't know if today is possible, and I'm planning to write off tomorrow as a loss because of some errands.
I get a kick out of how internet research must change the work of novel writing. As I drafted, I stayed away from the internet, but while I'm doing the rewrites on my computer, whenever I'm wondering anything about a detail in my book, it's a quick check on Wikipedia, and I usually end up learning a lot of other fun stuff that I'm tempted to weave in like a show off.
I often turn to the web for questions of style and spelling. (A handy tool not everyone knows about is in google if you search with "define: your word" it will return results with formal definitions of that word.) Today I wanted to check on the proper format for a famous department store that may or may not have periods and spaces in how they use their name. I found it easily, but then I thought, that's how they do it now, but maybe it wasn't the same in the period the book is set in. So I searched a little deeper and found a catalogue from that era and ended up flipping through the pictures, including of the ladies underwear and swimsuits of course, just like my pre-teen character would have done.
So I'm getting the format right, I'm immersing myself in period details and I'm putting myself into the pervy imaginative life of my character. It took seconds to get there, and I could have spent all day if I didn't have real re-write work to get back to.
Alright, back to it.
I get a kick out of how internet research must change the work of novel writing. As I drafted, I stayed away from the internet, but while I'm doing the rewrites on my computer, whenever I'm wondering anything about a detail in my book, it's a quick check on Wikipedia, and I usually end up learning a lot of other fun stuff that I'm tempted to weave in like a show off.
I often turn to the web for questions of style and spelling. (A handy tool not everyone knows about is in google if you search with "define: your word" it will return results with formal definitions of that word.) Today I wanted to check on the proper format for a famous department store that may or may not have periods and spaces in how they use their name. I found it easily, but then I thought, that's how they do it now, but maybe it wasn't the same in the period the book is set in. So I searched a little deeper and found a catalogue from that era and ended up flipping through the pictures, including of the ladies underwear and swimsuits of course, just like my pre-teen character would have done.
So I'm getting the format right, I'm immersing myself in period details and I'm putting myself into the pervy imaginative life of my character. It took seconds to get there, and I could have spent all day if I didn't have real re-write work to get back to.
Alright, back to it.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Detail and realism
I continue to look at things differently based on what I'm reading in the James Wood book How Fiction Works. Last night I was re-reading the chapter on detail where he discusses the custom in modernist narrative to have a surplus of unnecessary or "off duty" detail to help build a sense of realism. Reading my own work that this morning, I noticed how much I did that, which I have often felt a lack of confidence in. At times the unnecessariness of it stands out very clearly. In that case, quite the opposite of a sense of realism, what you get is a sense of the artist at work and all his preciousness.
Much slower now
I did a read-through of Chapter 5 this morning, and nothing I said about the rate of progress yesterday is going to apply for awhile. This chapter needs a lot of work--mysterious work that intimidates me. But I've got a list and I'll start working through it, probably on Monday. I guess it will take me at least 3 days and maybe the whole week to finish the chapter.
It's intimidating, but I also am a little excited. I have an idea not just for fixing the chapter but for truly developing it into something more--quite a bit more dramatic with lots of fireworks. I don't know if it's the right thing, but it should be fun exploring it. That will make me worry about the "butterfly wings" effect though.
Meanwhile, on chapters 3 and 4 I've skipped the step where I have my wife read it and then decide it I'm ready to move on. Maybe I can get her to do that this weekend, but I'm afraid what I'll find out.
It's intimidating, but I also am a little excited. I have an idea not just for fixing the chapter but for truly developing it into something more--quite a bit more dramatic with lots of fireworks. I don't know if it's the right thing, but it should be fun exploring it. That will make me worry about the "butterfly wings" effect though.
Meanwhile, on chapters 3 and 4 I've skipped the step where I have my wife read it and then decide it I'm ready to move on. Maybe I can get her to do that this weekend, but I'm afraid what I'll find out.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Zooming through Chapter 4
I'm in the zone, I guess. I'm putting in a lot more hours working on it, spending a lot of time thinking about it when I'm not working. And I'm cranking through the edits.
I think that's the nature of editing for me vs. writing or rewriting. It doesn't take as much creative energy so I don't get exhausted so quickly. It actually is very tiring, but I don't notice it until I'm done and I can go several hours that way.
But, is editing what I'm supposed to be doing? I'm trouble a little by the thought that I'm neglecting the hard work. Essentially, on Chapters 4 and 3, and chapter 2 to a lesser extent, what I do is read it through and identify around 2 keys spots that are important and not that well developed and maybe 1 or 2 other sections that seem to be in the wrong place. And I make a bunch of marks where at the sentence level things are unclear. Then the next day I go through the computer file working on the bigger picture items first and then--fairly soon--moving on to the sentence edits.
That implies that the couple places that weren't very well developed are the only really serious flaws left in the chapters and it implies that my fairly quick work on them is sufficient. I don't see anything else, but I'm worried that it's too easy.
I'm moving along faster than my wife has time to read it, so I'm flying blind a little bit. I'm getting closer to the day when I'll need to hand off big chunks of it to another reader and get their response.
The total timeline on this kind of work has been about 6-8 hours per chapter. A couple hours or more to read and mark up the chapter, and a few hours to go through the computer file making the changes.
The sentence-level editing I am doing is a pretty rough cut. I do have a list of several bad habits i my sentence constructions that I'll need to spend a lot of time weeding out on my next rewrite/revision.
Related to that is my reading lately of How Fiction Works by James Wood. (I finished it and am reading it a second time as well as all the other essays of his I can find online.) I've been helped enormously by his discussion of the free indirect style. That's given a me a critical vocabulary for thinking more deeply about how I use point of view and how I have been flagging the differences between the narrator and the characters. More on that another time, but essentially I've come to think that I can do a lot better, so I've been experimenting with making some changes here and there as I go with the understanding that I'll be bearing down on that issue when the time for a really careful revision comes.
I think that's the nature of editing for me vs. writing or rewriting. It doesn't take as much creative energy so I don't get exhausted so quickly. It actually is very tiring, but I don't notice it until I'm done and I can go several hours that way.
But, is editing what I'm supposed to be doing? I'm trouble a little by the thought that I'm neglecting the hard work. Essentially, on Chapters 4 and 3, and chapter 2 to a lesser extent, what I do is read it through and identify around 2 keys spots that are important and not that well developed and maybe 1 or 2 other sections that seem to be in the wrong place. And I make a bunch of marks where at the sentence level things are unclear. Then the next day I go through the computer file working on the bigger picture items first and then--fairly soon--moving on to the sentence edits.
That implies that the couple places that weren't very well developed are the only really serious flaws left in the chapters and it implies that my fairly quick work on them is sufficient. I don't see anything else, but I'm worried that it's too easy.
I'm moving along faster than my wife has time to read it, so I'm flying blind a little bit. I'm getting closer to the day when I'll need to hand off big chunks of it to another reader and get their response.
The total timeline on this kind of work has been about 6-8 hours per chapter. A couple hours or more to read and mark up the chapter, and a few hours to go through the computer file making the changes.
The sentence-level editing I am doing is a pretty rough cut. I do have a list of several bad habits i my sentence constructions that I'll need to spend a lot of time weeding out on my next rewrite/revision.
Related to that is my reading lately of How Fiction Works by James Wood. (I finished it and am reading it a second time as well as all the other essays of his I can find online.) I've been helped enormously by his discussion of the free indirect style. That's given a me a critical vocabulary for thinking more deeply about how I use point of view and how I have been flagging the differences between the narrator and the characters. More on that another time, but essentially I've come to think that I can do a lot better, so I've been experimenting with making some changes here and there as I go with the understanding that I'll be bearing down on that issue when the time for a really careful revision comes.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Quick run through Chapter 3
Well, I'm not doing at all what I noted yesterday I was going to do.
First, I didn't have my wife read Ch. 2, deciding that I was already confident in my own assessment of that chapter to keep going. I don't mind having another view, but I don't want to impose on her more than necessary.
Second, I ended up doing a bunch of work yesterday afternoon, which is uncommon. I read through Chapter 3 and made notes to be prepared to launch it today.
And I worked on Chapter 3 today, putting in what counts as a full day for me--about 2 or 2.5 hours in the a.m. and the same in the p.m. I made all the changes and corrections that I had made notes on yesterday.
Which doesn't amount to much. I'm probably not being rigorous enough. I re-organized a few things where there was jumping back and forth in time more than needed, and I developed the emotional complexity and meaning of one scene where I had been trying to get away with mystery.
I do think that I've done a good job digging and developing and fully explaining everything in this chapter, as well as 1 and 2, and that has been my goal. Probably what I'm really accomplishing is getting it all into good enough shape that I can seriously address the question of what gets cut--or prioritizing. Chapter 3 is also way too long. It's all very 19th century.
First, I didn't have my wife read Ch. 2, deciding that I was already confident in my own assessment of that chapter to keep going. I don't mind having another view, but I don't want to impose on her more than necessary.
Second, I ended up doing a bunch of work yesterday afternoon, which is uncommon. I read through Chapter 3 and made notes to be prepared to launch it today.
And I worked on Chapter 3 today, putting in what counts as a full day for me--about 2 or 2.5 hours in the a.m. and the same in the p.m. I made all the changes and corrections that I had made notes on yesterday.
Which doesn't amount to much. I'm probably not being rigorous enough. I re-organized a few things where there was jumping back and forth in time more than needed, and I developed the emotional complexity and meaning of one scene where I had been trying to get away with mystery.
I do think that I've done a good job digging and developing and fully explaining everything in this chapter, as well as 1 and 2, and that has been my goal. Probably what I'm really accomplishing is getting it all into good enough shape that I can seriously address the question of what gets cut--or prioritizing. Chapter 3 is also way too long. It's all very 19th century.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Still on Chapter 2
Well, the comments my wife had on Chapter 2 over the weekend convinced me that I need to do a little more work.
The obvious need, which I took care of this morning, was to straighten out the order of presentation. There was too much jumping back in forth in time so that it was was difficult at a basic level to understand what was happening in time.
I also trimmed out two scenes--deleting most of them and incorporating parts of them into other scences--which reduced it by about 2 pages. (1%! Big whoop.)
So now it is hopefully much more intelligible. I'm going to see if my wife can spare some time tonight to look at the first half of the chapter that was so confusing and confirm that.
What I fear, though, is that it is more obvious where it fails to be meaningful. I have a nagging sense that I'm evading spots where I know in my heart it is not really developed well. But I really want to keep moving forward, so I think that's what I'll probably do tomorrow.
I've been thinking more and more lately that it's time for another reader. I'm trying to postpone that as long as possible, but it's on my mind a lot.
The obvious need, which I took care of this morning, was to straighten out the order of presentation. There was too much jumping back in forth in time so that it was was difficult at a basic level to understand what was happening in time.
I also trimmed out two scenes--deleting most of them and incorporating parts of them into other scences--which reduced it by about 2 pages. (1%! Big whoop.)
So now it is hopefully much more intelligible. I'm going to see if my wife can spare some time tonight to look at the first half of the chapter that was so confusing and confirm that.
What I fear, though, is that it is more obvious where it fails to be meaningful. I have a nagging sense that I'm evading spots where I know in my heart it is not really developed well. But I really want to keep moving forward, so I think that's what I'll probably do tomorrow.
I've been thinking more and more lately that it's time for another reader. I'm trying to postpone that as long as possible, but it's on my mind a lot.
Friday, September 5, 2008
"Finished" with Chapter 2 yet again
Today went like planned and I finished the work I had in mind for it. I found it didn't need (as far as I could see) as much development/digging as Chapter 1, and with luck that will be the case with the rest of the chapters.
When I started this week, I thought I would be cutting out huge amounts, but most of it stayed, and the few pages I did cut got replaced with fuller development in other places, so that it's about a page longer than the last draft--49 manuscript pages, which is way way too long.
So, same routine as last week and as through most of the process of the first rewrite. I'll show it to my wife over the weekend, make note of what weaknesses she's finding in it and then decide whether to put it aside and push on to Chapter 3 or linger some more on this chapter.
I'm feeling good about the work I got done during a four-day week like this. The discipline and habit are the main thing--working steadily every morning. It's good to have that back again.
I'm starting to hope for the possibility of knocking out one chapter per week this way during the rewrite process. That would mean 15 weeks total, starting two chapters ago, 13 weeks to go--slightly less than a semester, which would mean being done with this rewrite before Christmas.
When I started this week, I thought I would be cutting out huge amounts, but most of it stayed, and the few pages I did cut got replaced with fuller development in other places, so that it's about a page longer than the last draft--49 manuscript pages, which is way way too long.
So, same routine as last week and as through most of the process of the first rewrite. I'll show it to my wife over the weekend, make note of what weaknesses she's finding in it and then decide whether to put it aside and push on to Chapter 3 or linger some more on this chapter.
I'm feeling good about the work I got done during a four-day week like this. The discipline and habit are the main thing--working steadily every morning. It's good to have that back again.
I'm starting to hope for the possibility of knocking out one chapter per week this way during the rewrite process. That would mean 15 weeks total, starting two chapters ago, 13 weeks to go--slightly less than a semester, which would mean being done with this rewrite before Christmas.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Slogging through Chapter 2
I've had two good working days. About two hours each yesterday and today. I'm hoping that two more good hours tomorrow will get me through the rest of the Chapter 2, so I can give it to my wife over the weekend. That would be pushing it I think, just looking at the number of pages to go.
I actually have time today, since I got an early start, so I intended to make use of the whole morning, but at about the two hour mark I felt I couldn't get my mental energy focused on the next section that needed work. If I was ever so fortunate to be able to write full time--either through wealth or some kind of arts fellowship--I'm not sure I'd actually be able to make great use of it.
Honestly, my biggest problem is being so easily distracted by the internet. I really have to get more disciplined. It's only a mouse click away all the time that I'm working.
I actually have time today, since I got an early start, so I intended to make use of the whole morning, but at about the two hour mark I felt I couldn't get my mental energy focused on the next section that needed work. If I was ever so fortunate to be able to write full time--either through wealth or some kind of arts fellowship--I'm not sure I'd actually be able to make great use of it.
Honestly, my biggest problem is being so easily distracted by the internet. I really have to get more disciplined. It's only a mouse click away all the time that I'm working.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
How Fiction Works by James Woods
I've been reading the new book by James Woods, How Fiction Works. I'm enjoying it a lot--enjoying the act of engaging with it and thinking about what he's saying. It's good old fashioned literary criticism that is challenging but accessible. I've seen a lot of hostile reviews of it, mostly complaining that he's too fancy pants. But I don't mind that he refers to books I haven't read or uses words I don't know. I don't feel shown up or made insecure by it. I'm a grown up and have access to dictionaries and libraries.
That said, I know that there is a theory of literature that is being laid out which I might or might not agree with if I had it laid out clearly for me, but I haven't been reading closely enough to tease it out. I've just been going along for the ride. More on that I hope, after I finish it.
One quibble. In the intro he surveys other guides in this genre and how his project is justified by its difference from all the rest, but in doing that he doesn't acknowledge L. Rust Hills, whose book his probably most resembles.
That said, I know that there is a theory of literature that is being laid out which I might or might not agree with if I had it laid out clearly for me, but I haven't been reading closely enough to tease it out. I've just been going along for the ride. More on that I hope, after I finish it.
One quibble. In the intro he surveys other guides in this genre and how his project is justified by its difference from all the rest, but in doing that he doesn't acknowledge L. Rust Hills, whose book his probably most resembles.
Starting chapter 2
I read through Chapter 2 this a.m. I should have done it over the long weekend so that I could start fresh on the work today, but I'm not very disciplined about squeezing work in on the weekends.
I'm pleased with what I saw--not because it was any good but because some obvious fixes jumped out at me. For now, contrary to what I said last week, the next work to be done isn't so much about digging and developing as it is about trimming out a big section that is quite weak. One solution would be to try and dig into it and turn it into something, but in this case I think it's better to focus on what's going on in the rest of the chapter--to foreground and emphasize that other stuff by cutting out the less developed stuff.
So it's a trim and patch job. I'll start on that tomorrow morning.
I'm pleased with what I saw--not because it was any good but because some obvious fixes jumped out at me. For now, contrary to what I said last week, the next work to be done isn't so much about digging and developing as it is about trimming out a big section that is quite weak. One solution would be to try and dig into it and turn it into something, but in this case I think it's better to focus on what's going on in the rest of the chapter--to foreground and emphasize that other stuff by cutting out the less developed stuff.
So it's a trim and patch job. I'll start on that tomorrow morning.
Friday, August 29, 2008
"Finished" with Chapter 1 yet again
I put in a standard five mornings this week, including a full day today, and worked through the second rewrite of Chapter 1, finally, after a month of hesitation.
The main thing I did was delving deeper in the spots most relevant to what seemed to me the biggest problem with the chapter, which was unclear motivation for some of the characters' actions and lack of clarity about what was actually happening. That was really first three days, and yesterday and today I went through and bandaged up a lot of transition problems. There was a little bit of cutting along the way, but the chapter still ended up growing by two pages. I guess I cut about five pages and wrote about seven while I was at it.
Now I'm aware of a couple problems in it still--that it is way too long, for one thing, and that even with more clarity about what happens there's not so much clarity about why it's important or interesting.
So it is "finished" only in the sense that every chapter was finished as I went through the first complete rewrite. I'm going to have my wife read it over the weekend and give me her feedback, with the intention of making notes for a later pass at it, but in all likelihood I'll be compelled to tackle some issues right away. So I expect I'll be still working on Chapter 1 next week.
Anyway, I'm back to work on the novel. That's something to be grateful for.
The main thing I did was delving deeper in the spots most relevant to what seemed to me the biggest problem with the chapter, which was unclear motivation for some of the characters' actions and lack of clarity about what was actually happening. That was really first three days, and yesterday and today I went through and bandaged up a lot of transition problems. There was a little bit of cutting along the way, but the chapter still ended up growing by two pages. I guess I cut about five pages and wrote about seven while I was at it.
Now I'm aware of a couple problems in it still--that it is way too long, for one thing, and that even with more clarity about what happens there's not so much clarity about why it's important or interesting.
So it is "finished" only in the sense that every chapter was finished as I went through the first complete rewrite. I'm going to have my wife read it over the weekend and give me her feedback, with the intention of making notes for a later pass at it, but in all likelihood I'll be compelled to tackle some issues right away. So I expect I'll be still working on Chapter 1 next week.
Anyway, I'm back to work on the novel. That's something to be grateful for.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Slog
Worked about two hours today, if I include all the time pacing around the kitchen wishing I didn't have to work. I tackled the two sections that yesterday I promised myself I would, but I'm not satisfied with the result. It's hard to put into words what the problem is, so I think I'll be returning to this subject later when I've given it some more thought, but I think there is some basic unresolved tension in the concept and construction of my novel that I haven't put my finger on yet and so haven't faced up to. I suspect it boils down to not really knowing my characters thoroughly enough.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Before I go to bed
Over the years, I've come up with a couple tricks to facilitate good working habits. One of them is to get clear the night before a writing day what I intend to work on the next day. The reason this has been crucial is that for me if I'm going to create new work, it's best to do that first thing in the morning before I really think too hard about anything else. And planning the work--thinking about the work--just trying to decide what scene I should work on takes enough intellectual energy that I don't feel like I'm starting fresh once I do start drafting. Making that decision the previous day--ideally at the end of the previous day's work--helps me get that fresh start.
Over the last year and a half (how I hate realizing it's been that long) I've often slacked off on this habit, because it's become less necessary at times. I've built up more momentum and self confidence that I could arrive at the writing table with a less conscious plan and find my way into the work more easily.
But it's time to revive the habit, especially considering what I observed yesterday about moving from a space of analysis to a space of creativity--of digging in and making a mess. I need to do that when I'm fresh and allowed the rest of the world and my own OCD thought patterns to start to attach little fur balls to my mind. I can't count on just finding the right place to dig. In fact, today I didn't and ended up wasting the morning tinkering at the sentence level. So I'm ending the morning by identifying the very lines--in two different episodes in Chapter 1--where the story is thin and will benefit from the clarity that will come out of more development. Tomorrow, I'll start with the first of those and hopefully have the energy to work on both of them in one day. Certainly in two.
And in the future, I'll have a similar plans for each of the chapters, telling myself each day, "Tomorrow I will dig here."
Over the last year and a half (how I hate realizing it's been that long) I've often slacked off on this habit, because it's become less necessary at times. I've built up more momentum and self confidence that I could arrive at the writing table with a less conscious plan and find my way into the work more easily.
But it's time to revive the habit, especially considering what I observed yesterday about moving from a space of analysis to a space of creativity--of digging in and making a mess. I need to do that when I'm fresh and allowed the rest of the world and my own OCD thought patterns to start to attach little fur balls to my mind. I can't count on just finding the right place to dig. In fact, today I didn't and ended up wasting the morning tinkering at the sentence level. So I'm ending the morning by identifying the very lines--in two different episodes in Chapter 1--where the story is thin and will benefit from the clarity that will come out of more development. Tomorrow, I'll start with the first of those and hopefully have the energy to work on both of them in one day. Certainly in two.
And in the future, I'll have a similar plans for each of the chapters, telling myself each day, "Tomorrow I will dig here."
Monday, August 25, 2008
Dig; don't fix
I've been having a lot of trouble getting started on my rewrite until today. I've been getting up each morning and psyching myself out, giving in to fear and then surfing the internet.
It's because I don't know what to do and where to start. I can see specific things wrong, but I don't know how to fix them.
It finally occurred to me over the weekend that I should do what I was doing in the first rewrite--which is to dig; not fix. Instead of trying to put a layer of smooth coat over, I should be excavating more.
It's another way of saying what I've said before, quoting Jesse Lee Kercheval and Jane Smiley's advice at different points--the rewrite process is a repeated crossing of the border between analysis and creativity. What I need to do now is turn off that analytical part and let the creative part go. I've been afraid to do that because I know it will make a mess--create more short-term problems than it will solve. Even if I can avoid that fear, it's hard to avoid the habit--the impulse to keep trying to find solutions, to anticipate how things are going to work.
But in the long-term, it's necessary to be in that zone of not caring if something is going to work. That's where the discovery happens.
What's discouraging is the feeling that I have been and may remain in that zone forever. I thought that's what the first rewrite was about (and I didn't accomodate myself easily to that after the first draft). I was expecting that by now I would be in the space where I work on shaping and fixing and patching.
I guess I'll just have to hope that the amount of digging necessary is somewhat less and in more obvious places than in the first rewrite so that it goes faster, so that I really do move through a chapter a week (not counting the month it has taken me just to get started.) I doubt it though.
So, today I opened the file, found the first moment where there is a lack of clarity related to something important to the character development, and tried to dig--tried to get into that creative space. I got in about 90 minutes of fair work.
It's because I don't know what to do and where to start. I can see specific things wrong, but I don't know how to fix them.
It finally occurred to me over the weekend that I should do what I was doing in the first rewrite--which is to dig; not fix. Instead of trying to put a layer of smooth coat over, I should be excavating more.
It's another way of saying what I've said before, quoting Jesse Lee Kercheval and Jane Smiley's advice at different points--the rewrite process is a repeated crossing of the border between analysis and creativity. What I need to do now is turn off that analytical part and let the creative part go. I've been afraid to do that because I know it will make a mess--create more short-term problems than it will solve. Even if I can avoid that fear, it's hard to avoid the habit--the impulse to keep trying to find solutions, to anticipate how things are going to work.
But in the long-term, it's necessary to be in that zone of not caring if something is going to work. That's where the discovery happens.
What's discouraging is the feeling that I have been and may remain in that zone forever. I thought that's what the first rewrite was about (and I didn't accomodate myself easily to that after the first draft). I was expecting that by now I would be in the space where I work on shaping and fixing and patching.
I guess I'll just have to hope that the amount of digging necessary is somewhat less and in more obvious places than in the first rewrite so that it goes faster, so that I really do move through a chapter a week (not counting the month it has taken me just to get started.) I doubt it though.
So, today I opened the file, found the first moment where there is a lack of clarity related to something important to the character development, and tried to dig--tried to get into that creative space. I got in about 90 minutes of fair work.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Struggling to start the second rewrite
I'm putting in a little more time each morning, but I'm not actually doing much writing. I don't know how to get started because I feel like there are serious problems when I re-read the first couple chapters, but I can't tell what they are. The story seems to drift around with things happening suddenly for no good reason.
So what I'm really doing is a lot of thinking. Emotionally, this is the kind of work that is hardest. Have to keep reminding myself that sitting around and thinking (and haltingly taking notes) is good and necessary.
What I decided this morning is that I need to get much clearer on my theme and how the arc of character development demonstrates that theme and then to go through my outline and check all the episodes through that lens. I'll start on that tomorrow.
So what I'm really doing is a lot of thinking. Emotionally, this is the kind of work that is hardest. Have to keep reminding myself that sitting around and thinking (and haltingly taking notes) is good and necessary.
What I decided this morning is that I need to get much clearer on my theme and how the arc of character development demonstrates that theme and then to go through my outline and check all the episodes through that lens. I'll start on that tomorrow.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Freewriting
I thought I would share an example of the kind of freewriting I do when I'm stuck and trying to get my thoughts sorted out. This is very raw material, really unintelligible to anyone but me, but it gives a sense of something very basic in my working process.
In this case, I'm trying to figure out how to diagnose and start remediating what isn't working in Chapter 1. It's the beginning work of my second rewrite.
August 14, 2008
What is going on with B?
Who is he?
Why does he behave the way he does?
What is his thinking about the ________ ?
A is someone he can manipulate. He probably feels ambivalent about that. It’s probably not something he wants. It’s like a crime of opportunity and he feels not great about it. But A gets on his nerves with by being so needy and overeager and fawning.
Take the ________ episode, for example. B is pretending, but it’s in a certain pitch that An misses.
What is that distinction? How are they pretending differently?
For B it’s the activity. The project.
For A, it’s the performance for each other. The act of bonding. A keeps “breaking the fourth wall” to talk about themselves as actors.
August 18, 2008
How would they handle ________ differently?
A wants to talk about it
B wants to circle around it. Hoard it for later. Taste it.
A is ocd
B is add
A might also tend to add, but the ocd is predominant.
That means he feels agitated until he gets some full satisfaction. Until something is completed in a some particular and emotional way for him. He has a script he expects to be followed in order to get proof of love. Deviate from that script, and he feels insecure, thus vulnerable, thus panicked, thus he can’t let it rest. Harps on people trying to Shepard them back onto the script—to make them say their lines.
With B, he perfectly willing to stop in mid script and switch to something else. He feels uncomfortable with being responsible for anyone else’s feelings. Wants to be loved like anyone else, though not particularly needy about that, but he doesn’t want to feel responsible for other people’s feelings, love or otherwise. Aloof. Learned it from his dad. That’s what’s manly. Neither of them are macho, and it’s not an aversion to emotion exactly so much as it’s an aversion to being intimate.
Hmm. Is it an aversion. Like they genuinely avoid it? Or is it that when other people seek it, they see it as an opportunity to exploit? To control people by withholding? Perhaps it’s not so much that they can’t be intimate as an addiction to the power that comes from withholding.
These are contradictory explanations. One makes B a lot less sympathetic than the other. Is it that he gets tempted into some manipulative behavior or that he has some piece of his soul missing?
Put it that way, and it’s obvious. He can’t be a monster. Has to be real.
Fragile balance. B tends to withhold, imitating his dad. Gets a kind of control. Confronted with someone especially clingy like A is what makes him feel vulnerable. Manipulating and pushing away feel safer.
Alright, so in this episode . . . I need to rewrite a few key scenes. When B shuts down the game—rewrite it with this motivation in mind. Same for when they start the game and the couple times we revisit it in the middle. The whole tone of it should be more like A drives B away—B reacting to A’s neediness—rather than B jerking A around, or worse, acting indiscriminately, which is how it reads now and why it reads so confusingly.
How about Chapter 2? Harder to say. Need to read it carefully again.
In this case, I'm trying to figure out how to diagnose and start remediating what isn't working in Chapter 1. It's the beginning work of my second rewrite.
August 14, 2008
What is going on with B?
Who is he?
Why does he behave the way he does?
What is his thinking about the ________ ?
A is someone he can manipulate. He probably feels ambivalent about that. It’s probably not something he wants. It’s like a crime of opportunity and he feels not great about it. But A gets on his nerves with by being so needy and overeager and fawning.
Take the ________ episode, for example. B is pretending, but it’s in a certain pitch that An misses.
What is that distinction? How are they pretending differently?
For B it’s the activity. The project.
For A, it’s the performance for each other. The act of bonding. A keeps “breaking the fourth wall” to talk about themselves as actors.
August 18, 2008
How would they handle ________ differently?
A wants to talk about it
B wants to circle around it. Hoard it for later. Taste it.
A is ocd
B is add
A might also tend to add, but the ocd is predominant.
That means he feels agitated until he gets some full satisfaction. Until something is completed in a some particular and emotional way for him. He has a script he expects to be followed in order to get proof of love. Deviate from that script, and he feels insecure, thus vulnerable, thus panicked, thus he can’t let it rest. Harps on people trying to Shepard them back onto the script—to make them say their lines.
With B, he perfectly willing to stop in mid script and switch to something else. He feels uncomfortable with being responsible for anyone else’s feelings. Wants to be loved like anyone else, though not particularly needy about that, but he doesn’t want to feel responsible for other people’s feelings, love or otherwise. Aloof. Learned it from his dad. That’s what’s manly. Neither of them are macho, and it’s not an aversion to emotion exactly so much as it’s an aversion to being intimate.
Hmm. Is it an aversion. Like they genuinely avoid it? Or is it that when other people seek it, they see it as an opportunity to exploit? To control people by withholding? Perhaps it’s not so much that they can’t be intimate as an addiction to the power that comes from withholding.
These are contradictory explanations. One makes B a lot less sympathetic than the other. Is it that he gets tempted into some manipulative behavior or that he has some piece of his soul missing?
Put it that way, and it’s obvious. He can’t be a monster. Has to be real.
Fragile balance. B tends to withhold, imitating his dad. Gets a kind of control. Confronted with someone especially clingy like A is what makes him feel vulnerable. Manipulating and pushing away feel safer.
Alright, so in this episode . . . I need to rewrite a few key scenes. When B shuts down the game—rewrite it with this motivation in mind. Same for when they start the game and the couple times we revisit it in the middle. The whole tone of it should be more like A drives B away—B reacting to A’s neediness—rather than B jerking A around, or worse, acting indiscriminately, which is how it reads now and why it reads so confusingly.
How about Chapter 2? Harder to say. Need to read it carefully again.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
The passing of L. Rust Hills
Readers of this journal know that L. Rust Hills' book Writing In General and the Short Story In Particular has been a key handbook for me as I develop as a writer. It's a terrific combination of analysis and practicality, and he made many other contributions to our literary culture besides that book.
Hills died earlier this week. His obit in the New York times is here.
Hills died earlier this week. His obit in the New York times is here.
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